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Writer’s block is the worst kind of block. It’s much worse than cock block, because you can just punch a cock-blocker in the face. You can’t punch writer’s block in the face.

Or can you…

Here’s how I do it. This may be the least helpful shit you’ve ever read, but it works for me, and let’s face it; if you’re blocked, you need all the help you can get.

I discovered while at University that when writing mundane non-fiction I’d get all these great ideas. It was silly. I’d even go so far as to say it was zany. I couldn’t finish my non-fiction projects because of the creative energy they inspired.

So now, when I’m writing fiction, I do a non-fiction project at the same time.

It doesn’t have to be related to the fiction project, just something that doesn’t require as much creative thought, and therefore gives the creative parts of the brain room to breathe.

It also helps avoid what I like to call ‘White Page Syndrome’ - that quicksand-esque feeling you get when you’re getting stared down by a blank sheet of paper/empty word processing document.

‘White Page Syndrome’ will be very familiar to those of you with writer’s block. It’s a bitch with an ugly sister.

The non-fiction project may be a blog about writing (just like this one!), or a how-to guide, or some autobiography, or a diary. Hell it could be a statistical run down of the duration, intensity and focus of your masturbation sessions.

It could be anything, as long as it gets you writing without having to think too hard (no pun intended).

When I was writing my first novel, I wrote a condensed version of Robert McKee’s massively bloated kill-me-now-guide-to-writing, Story, at the same time - essentially stripping that book back to its bare essentials (which is about a ratio of one paragraph per chapter, fact fans).

During the last screenplay I wrote, I worked on a screenwriting guide, which not only helped keep me productive, but kept my preferred screenplay structure at the front of my mind.

These non-fiction projects are mostly never intended to see the light of day - they are for my benefit only. 

When I sit down to write, I’ll write at least a page on the non-fiction project, or until the ideas for my creative project just start pushing out of my skin.

And hey, if the creative ideas aren’t flowing at least I’ll feel like I’m not wasting my time.

If all else fails there is one other thing I do; I workout like an asshole. I hit the gym until my body is exhausted, and my mind can take over and do it’s thing.

Working out might not make me a better writer, but next time I’m stuck on a project, I’ll be able to punch writer’s block so hard in the face that it’ll be shitting knuckles for weeks.

To those suffering block, I salute you. May you punch hard and write freely.

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